The last 10 searches that lead to this blog

frank morgan dead
100 day cough
frank morgan =dead
hundred day cough
sarah morgan transvestite
100 day cough china
frank morgan
leave your light on by frank morgan
one hundred day cough
burger paints for living room

What can I take from that list?

a) I don't think any of these people were disappointed (apart from the ‘burger paints’ guy wtf was that about?)

b) I can probably console myself with the fact I'm probably not the only person dying from the Chinese 100 day cough.

c) Wait, Frank Morgan =dead?? Are the 100 days up already??

d) Who found out about my transvestite alter ego Sarah??

Detective

I walk around London in the dark, I follow people for a living, I spy on people.

I walk through the meat market most days, there’s always blood and little bits of offal, pig livers, that sort of thing lying around.

The seagulls and the pigeons fight over the bits and peck at the bloody pavement.

Rabbit Face The Shopping Centre Clown

I work at the shopping centre. I sell balloons to the children and sometimes I do magic tricks with a dirty hanky. When I was fourteen years old I cut my top lip off with scissors. Back then we didn’t have plastic surgery. They started calling me rabbit face so I pulled my teeth out with pliers, but yeah, they still called me Rabbit Face.

Chinese One Hundred Day Cough

I have contracted the Chinese 100 Day Cough.

The symptoms are:

Flu like lethargy
Dry mouth
Vertigo
Violent mood swings
Paranoia/fear of death
A Tourettes-like compulsion to shout at total strangers
Aching bones (this may be psychosomatic as bones have no nerves and cannot feel pain)
Outbursts of origami
Secret compositions of Haiku
Choking
A brooding sense of worthlessness
Hording
Coughing for one hundred days
Death