Monday, 21 January 2008

The Future is NOW

The supermarket across the road employs one member of staff, a security guard. There are no checkout staff, no shelf stackers, no cleaners and no managers, just a lone security guard who stands by the door looking bored. The shelf stacking and cleaning happens at night and is outsourced to a company called _______. The tills are self service.

But the streets are still filthy, my car won’t start and blood still drips from my nose.

If the future truly is NOW, then where are the robots we were promised?


apants said...

and the hover things. and the jetpacks. and the MIND CONTROL! I wish someone would control my mind other than me for once.

Frank Morgan said...

hell yeah, hoverboards, like off of Back to the future. that would be super sweet, unless Biff caught up with you and gave you a proper kicking meaning you didn't manage to get your dad to go to the dance with your mum because she now fancies you - ewww, mum!

Duncan Cheshire said...

When I was little (well, younger; I don't think I've ever been little, even when I was very young), I always thought the year 2000 seemed very far off and futuristic. I also thought there would be jetpacks in the year 2000. They were going to be the next form of personal transport, as far as I could see.

The year 2000 turned out to be much the same as the years preceding it, apart from writing the date as '2000' which felt exciting the first couple of times. I don't know what time to look forward to in the future now. '2050' doesn't have the same ring to it as '2000' did.

But there may be jetpacks in 2050.

apants said...

duncan cheshire not any of that ever happened. Why do you lie so much? Like your name? That is made up. Liar.

Frank Morgan said...



Duncan Cheshire said...

apants, you have seen right through me.

I am a charlatan, a fraud, a mountebank, a liar, a cad, and so on.

"Duncan Cheshire" is a fabrication. What kind of name is that, anyway?

I am a Costa Rican hunchback with cataracts, blogging from Cancun.

I am Jo-Wilfried Tsonga.

I am the island of Tasmania.

I am Mandy "Pants" Murphy, a maelstrom of raw aggression and the epitome of the female gladiator.

I am a bedridden resident of Des Moines, Iowa, and I weigh 478 pounds.

I am Frank Morgan.

You decide.

Frank Morgan said...

Hey, I'm Frank Morgan, you can be Hernandez Falconé. You have one eye and a limp, your code name is crowfoot.

Miss Pants may think she's good enough to be a gladiator. Obviously she's never heard of WOLF

Duncan Cheshire said...

That's a good name: Hernandez Falconé. It sounds like I was a bit of a dasher, back in the day, before I developed curvature of the spine, the cataracts formed, one eye fell out and I damaged my left ankle whilst falling over drunk.

Frank Morgan said...

I drank tequilla with Hernandez Falconé in a burning bar in the heartlands of Puerto Rico back in the eighties. He wore a snakeskin vest and blew smoke rings at the twelve year old bar maid.

I googled Hernandez Falconé and found href=">This guy

this guy

that's not the Hernandez Falconé who stole my woman and beat my favourite man servant to death with a tire iron.

Duncan Cheshire said...

I just looked in the mirror. I'm not that guy.

I may be the other guy you mentioned - I have been known to use a tyre iron, particularly when changing the tyres on my car.

apants said...

Don't tell me what to do.

(hernandez looks like a dentist)

Anonymous said...

There is a t-shirt that goes with your blog post.

This is it.